Sunday, August 24, 2008


it's pure loveliness to have a child home from her new life in a foreign land on a far-away continent. She shares verbiage constantly, which i use to create my own inaccurate visuals of her world. But it's something. And it is pure amusement to have a second child working w/ "the blind rebbe and his crotch-sniffing seeing-eye dog". She struggles daily to work under a selfish, spoiled bully, calling often to debrief the latest insanity. She's in a lot of pain, but learning invaluable lessons about life and herself. Already a strong soul, this experience will make her invincible if she toughs out the year. A third child struggles with medical issues and needs, a fourth with the new demands of motherhood, the last with a very challenging step-child (and her child) living lazily in her home. All of them are doing well, vacillating between pain, joy, growth, and equanimity. I think they were raised with the skills they need to survive.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Becoming a Grandparent

This was one of the coolest thing that's ever happened to me. Micah was perfect, and holding the first born of my first born was indescribable. He changes daily I see from pictures, but I still watch a video of him talking and waving his week-old arms around everyday. I love the changes and events of life, but it's good to hold onto a few perfect moments.

Sunday, July 6, 2008


Couch surfing is my new favorite thing. I loved the people I met traveling across the midwest, and we hosted our first surfers, Cate and Irving, from CT for two nights. It is more than fun to meet, chat, laugh, play, explore, and eat with new friends. This week we have a german girl coming.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

my dog loves me

in a needy sort of way. I adore him, but could do w/out the need for an aerosol of Febreze strategically placed in each room he frequents. Perhaps the beast just needs to let me know he is alive. Perhaps I should try a third type of dogfood. Can it get more expensive? Febreze is relatively cheap, i guess. It amuses me to be forced to use it by a creature I adopted.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008


the daughter came home from traveling around Eastern Europe and Israel, safe and sound. She was in airplanes, buses, trains, autos, subways, and who knows what. shortly after taking her to the airport yet again, i got stuck 2 blocks from my home, and then again at the base of my driveway. it amuses me that my children have traveled far and wide--Europe, Asia, the Middle East, and i can't even drive my car in my hometown. perhaps its time to look seriously at public transportation.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Ether or ?

Amazing that i could still remember what ether smelled like 45 years later. I recall the words spoken, the foul rubbery odour of the black mask lowered over my breathing orifices, and the feeling of panic induced by these. This time the mask was clear plastic, the smell was better, and words designed to comfort and hasten the process. Age had little to do with it.....i still felt 7 yrs old.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

only one of four tyres was flat!

I had a flat tyre today. and two meetings to attend. and an angry disappearing daughter with a crisis. and a referral to special ed. and a party for a twenty-one yr old. sometimes i hate being a grownup, i want someone else to fix my flat, attend my meetings, take my notes, do my shopping. Sitting around with friends my age, listening to handsome young men in their twenties, watching a youngster relate to adults, made me glad to be myself. It is fun to watch children mature, amusing to listen to their ideas and insights. They don't all know what they are doing, but they are out living, learning, working, and being. I love being human, i love being part of the drama of life. Even when life inhales vigourously.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

i don't hate much of anything

several days ago i googled some word and ended up looking at a blog entitled "I Hate Everything". It was caustic and amusing and i found small shards of envy and admiration poking at my heart. I thought, "i could do something similar, for i love to be sarcastic and witty". When i began to create a blog, however, i discovered I couldn't be negative. So many words, ideas, facial expressions, actions, and etc. that are negative occur constantly in this world. i realized I needed to grow up and focus, as i did when a child, on those pieces of life which make living bearable. Sometimes these might be a catalyst for gratitude that my life is easier than another's, sometimes simply reminders that this IS a wonderful world. I do not want to JUST rant, even intelligently.

Smiles last forever

about 10 years ago i worked in a local high school for a short time with young adults who had developmental disabilities. One young man diagnosed with cerebral palsy stood in a prone stand during the hour I was in his room. He had blue eyes that lit up when he laughed, loved to play jokes or be teased, and enlivened every moment i spent in a difficult room. leaving work today a man zipped up to the school in a racy wheelchair. I spoke to him and made him laugh then went to my car. 75 feet away, i realized he was the young man i'd known before. Speech is not easy for him, so when i asked his name he whipped up a small red and yellow magnadoodle where KC was written. I reminisced and told him how much his laughter had helped my days. His eyes crinkled with delight. Connexions, positive emotional joys, these are what make us human, and make being human worthwhile.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

"I saw a dead body last night."

said one of my second grade students this morning. No wonder she was having trouble with math! Children amaze me with their survivalist attitudes. And i was worried and upset over a rude comment someone had made about me.....